Page 334 – Crazy Monster Creators

Author: Lyntermas

Guest Author’s Note: “Every DM wants their villains to be memorable, with all sorts of hidden depths and intrigue. Of course, the PCs usually just try shooting them during their intro speech, or give them funny names, or simply ask, ‘How much HP do we have knock off him before we get the loot?’

What are some memorable villains from your campaigns? Or even better, what were some villains that just fell flat?”

DM: So, girls, have you made up your ideas for the new villains for my little pony campaign?

Apple Bloom: Yep, and we drew up pictures and everything. Our sisters won’t know what hit them.

Scootaloo: Oh, I’ll go first! Behold the horror and majesty that is… Crackle, the King of Dragons!

DM: Uh… Well, he certainly looks… distinctive.

Scootaloo: Yeah, he’s a 20th level wizard with 9th level spells, and he can polymorph into anything, and his scales are as tough as adamantine, and he’s got a phylactery even if he’s killed and-

Apple Bloom: My turn! Now, since our sisters are supposed to be the Elements of Harmony, then they should fight… Discord, Spirit of Chaos!

DM: Oh, very nice. He’s certainly a mish-mash, isn’t he?

Apple Bloom: He wants to make Equestria into a chaos kingdom. Dancing buffalo, chocolate rain, the works. His favorite trick is to manipulate other ponies, making them dishonest, grumpy, loyal, cruel, selfish, disloyal, and… uh… What’s the opposite of “magic,” anyway?

DM: Hmm… I’ll have to think about that.

Sweetie Belle: Aw, how is mine going to compete with that?

DM: Now now, don’t be like that. Let’s just see what you DID YOU DRAW THIS?

Sweetie Belle: …This is Queen Chrysalis and the changelings. They impersonate ponies to feed off of the love of their friends and family. And since everyone loves Princess Celestia…

DM: …Wow… I hadn’t even thought of… oh wow.

Sweetie Belle: Oh, it was a silly idea, anyway.

Scootaloo: Don’t worry, King Crackle is always looking for more flunkies.