“Dear Princess Celestia, I know I haven’t written to you in a while, but I need somepony to vent my thoughts at. As you know, Spike recently hit the dragon equivalent of puberty, and at first I was excited, as it gave me a prime opportunity to study and provide reports for the benefits of ponykind. Well let me tell you, when it comes to this particular stage of life, Spike has officially become a GIANT BUCKING PAIN IN THE FLANK! I can’t take it anymore! He sleeps for hours each day, then raises complete Tartarus at night, takes things that do NOT belong to him, including my private diary (which he then reads aloud from to anypony willing to listen, and let me tell you, there are plenty of ponies who show up to hear about my innermost thoughts. Seriously, I do not know how I’m going to explain to Rainbow that that little story I wrote about the two of us was just a thought experiment).

I’m at my wits end here, Princess. Can I send him to live with you and Luna for a while? Preferably until he reaches adulthood.

Yours truly, Twilight Sparkle.”