I know I shouldn’t abuse the meme, but to paraphrase Confused Matthew, this is less a post and more a public service announcement.

See this guy? Don’t write this guy. This guy is useless. In the hours and hours I played this game, even in my stupid high school days when stuff like character development and narrative purpose eluded my grasp, a single thought kept nagging me: when will Vaan’s actions matter?

Really, Ashe and Basch were the main driving forces of the story, and every single badass point was stolen by Balthier, awesome pirate as he is. I kept waiting for Vaan to be revealed as “the chosen one” or the balance of the force or the Emissary or what have you, and for the story, he did NOOOOOTHING. Even if you’re a viewpoint character, you need to contribute to the narrative!

I can imagine Luna, hardcore gamer as she is, knocking Vaan’s useless ass out of the game, Canterlot style, and wrapping things as Ashelia with the Zodiark summon. Boss.