First off: yes I know there's no Christmas commission this year and that makes me a little sad. Artists were surprisingly hard to get a hold of atm, and the artist I usually have to fall back on was...well, making this. And it took the better part of a year to get this one back. XP

Secondly: I have some...mixed feelings on this piece now, but considering how long it took to make I'd be remiss to not upload it. I'll talk more about it bellow, right now: story context time.

Like all the civilians working on the SEAF base, when the damn Squids invaded SUPER EQUESTRIA, FeatherTrap was handed a set of body armour and a gun, and told to do his part...

Feather of course, has been running around like a maniac in a blind panic, trying just to not get himself killed. He's a janitor doing his part for the cause by cleaning out the barracks - courtesy of the generous and right-minded appointment by the Ministry of Employment of course - invasion by an overwhelming, technologically superior force is not his idea of a routine shake-up...

...but in the midst of the chaos of war, he gets an unexpected boon...to meet his favourite hero: DEATH CAPTAIN SHINING ARMOR, of the HELLDIVER CORPS! The Stallion, the Myth, the Legend, in the flesh and showing his appreciation for his new favourite trooper.

Feather insists that he's not actually a trooper, but he's doing his best not to disappoint his hero. Courage, as they say is not the absence of fear...besides, Shiny appreciates having someone half as good with the P-11 Stim Pistol watching his flanks.

"You've got spirit, boy. Who knows...maybe once they rebuild the training facility, we'll see if we can make a Cadet out of you."

Art is by the supremely talented, incredibly patient and surprisingly affordable: TheWandie, thank you for all your hard work! And for the rest of you, if you want quality pony art that won't cost a month's pay and your firstborn son, I cannot recommend her enough! :3

Okay...so the main body of this description is a rant. There's a little bit extra right at the bottom so, skip straight down to "Rant Over" with your search bar if you'd like to read that but...
For those who just wanted cool picture with some story context, credit to the artist and all...this is over for you now. You can leave. v.v

For those of you who are staying to learn about the... mixed feelings about this piece - to put it very lightly - make yourself comfortable, grab a cuppa and some biscuits...this is going to be a long rant. XP

I had intended this to be made in say...a month or so, to commemorate the Battle of SUPER EARTH event that I took part in May of this year, with hopes that I'd be posting this around early July at latest...

So obviously, that didn't happen. In truth I only got this back in December, about a week out from Christmas. XP

Part of the reason I didn't post this earlier was because I was hoping I'd have something ready to post on Christmas but that never came about sadly.

The other reason is well...my thoughts on this game have soured considerably in the months since.

It's no secret by this point that ARROWHEAD sold a version of the game at launch that no longer reflects what the game is now, and that they have a vision for it that is not only not particularly fun but - more importantly; is at odds with the baseline game mechanics that are inherent to the HELLDIVERS experience, making a game that is not only not-fun, but infuriatingly and punishingly so.

I remember in one of those interviews the devs have done over the last few months - I can't recall which one exactly.
But it was said, more or less to this effect:

"Our vision of the game was that you are the utterly disposable canon fodder of the Evil Empire. When we were watching STAR WARS; A New Hope, we were watching the prison break scene on the Death Star and said 'What if we made a game where the player was that first stormtrooper the comes through the door and gets immediately shot by Han Solo?' That's the game we wanted to make"

Not the exact wording, but it was more or less to that effect...basically, their vision for the game is that you play as this guy.

This is often known among the community as the Grunt Fantasy talking point, and I'm not here to weigh in as to whether it should be a "Grunt Fantasy" or not (it shouldn't though, that's the correct answer) my actual complaint is that it's a terrible Grunt Fantasy, on a strict game design level. The way the game is structured and the mechanics of the game are not properly tailored to providing this experience.

Not only is HELLDIVERS II no longer the amazing game it was at launch, and fast becoming a game that no-one wants, but

It's also a piss-poor representation of the game ARROWHEAD claims they want to make as well.

The game in no-way is a fun or compelling version of the vision they claim is so integral to the game. The way they phrase it, we should be playing the fucking SEAF Troopers, in lobbies of 50 players or more!

And the reason is simple: the mechanics of their game are NOT in harmony with their stated theme.
If you don't know what that means, simple example here,

This is the high praised opening sequence of Battlefield One: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cnlW4y7YWFg

It's often considered by everyone who plays it to be the best part of the game, especially in just selling the idea of the meat-grinder that was the Western Front in WWI. You might notice, that it has and does everything ARROWHEAD claims they want from their vision of HELLDIVERS.

And far from being hated or scorned, it's praised for it, often considered the best part of the game
And this is simple: because the mechanics of this sequence work in concert with the story it's trying to tell
To create,

CINEMA

(insert Martin Scorsese here)

The problem with HELLDIVERS II is that it wants the same praise and accolades that this scene gets, but the scope and mechanics of the game do not support their vision _at all_.

• You want each individual player to be a drone that has a very insignificant contribution on their own?
  Fine: make missions with up to 50 or more players in a single lobby.

• You want each individual life and death to be cheap and disposable?
  Fine: get rid of the finite lives counter, find other way to create a failure state then just running out the reinforcement budget

• You want the players to not be super special superheroes capable of defeating entire armies on their own?
  Then maybe don't give each player their own individual super destroyer in orbit that they can use to call in death from above at will.

You cannot design a game with mechanics which give inherit, intrinsic value to each individual life - even if just by making them finite - and then tell the player that frequent death isn't supposed to matter and is part of the design bro. Y u mad, bro?

(insert annoying Sully-kids from James Cameron's Avatar here)

That is fundamentally dishonest

If death doesn't matter, then you need to make it not matter. Find other failure states. I would suggest things like:

• Make objectives with timers: there's already an objective in the game where you have to intercept and kill a convoy of three Factory Striders before they reach a pre-determined destination. More like that, with time pressure.

• Make objectives that need to be protected: HELLDIVERS I had these, like the fuel drilling station or the launch silo. These things had their own health bars and if they were depleted then you fail the mission.

• Make objectives that can be lost: Instead of just respawning a black box at the origin point if the player carrying it falls into a crevasse, then maybe that's just...mission failed, dumbass. In fact, we can go further: enemies can pick them up say, and bring them to dropships. If the dropship gets away with the black box, mission failed.

HELLDIVERS II, on a fundamental game design level, is simply not equipped to accommodate "grunt fantasy". It isn't one,
Disposable grunts for the meat-grinder are not dropped in four-man teams complete with their own individual call ins for orbital support behind enemy lines. They are not given special arms and equipment to use at will, nor the distinct freedom to choose the theatre of war they will participate in.
every mechanic of the game says that we are an elite squad, dropped into highly contested warzones and expected to come back not only successful, but with bodycounts in the hundreds. Each.

But then the game balance says "lul no, GIT FUKED"

Since the developers like to cite "the stormtrooper who gets shot immediately by Han Solo" as a key example, take a gander at this scene here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=raF9wfPxir8
So ARROWHEAD likes to picture us as that schmuck in the front at 0:04 seconds, or maybe that equally unlucky bastard at 0:16 seconds. Notice how many Stormtroopers are in each shot?

more then FOUR at a time, aren't there?

You know what game is actually a fun "grunt fantasy"?

Planetside: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cl8D0S-zq-w

(yes I know this is actually Planetside 2, don't @ me XP)

Just look at this snippet of Planetside 2 - a game where you play one individual soldier among hundreds - literally hundreds. At time of writing, I think the current limit per server is 750 players per continent,
Look at the sheer scale of this battle...and keep in mind, this player is actually contributing very little on his own. But that's because the entire point of this game is that you are but one soldier among hundreds, your individual contribution is not supposed to be very significant, but rather you are part of a large battlegroup trying to push your faction's lines forward.

And in this game, life is so cheap that respawn is literally written into the game's lore. I'm serious, in Planetside lore, the planet they're on has some crazy alien technology on it, that has managed to link the mind and soul of every person on the planet, and whenever they die it will immediately transport them into a perfect replication of their body, without any injury. Each individual soldier is not just thrown into the meat grinder and then gone forever, they're literally brought back to life at base,
That's how cheap life is here, even in death you cannot escape this war. So as a result, death has no consequence other then making you go all the way back to base. XP

You know what's really embarressing here?

anyone remember

STARSHIP TROOPERS: Extermination?

No of course you didn't, it came and went like that...certainly didn't help was that it's early access period was vastly overshadowed by HELLDIVERS II itself. I remember people laughing, saying:

HELLDIVERS II IS THE REAL STARSHIP TROOPERS GAME

Well, you know what?

By ARROWHEAD's own vision,

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO WAS WRONG, BUCKO!!

because that game is a much, much better vision of a "grunt fantasy" then HELLDIVERS II is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLM27uDpT04

Again, notice how many players are in each lobby...a lot.
"Grunt fantasy" games are far greater in scope then ARROWHEAD seems either interested, or capable, of developing. Their game already struggles like a bitch to synch four players in a mission at once, they need dozens, if not hundreds to achieve their stated intention.

ARROWHEAD did not create a grunt fantasy game, nor have they patched it into one.

They made a fun as fuck Co-Op Sci-Fi Military Extraction shooter.

Which they have, over the last two years, patched into a tedious mess, full of terrible balancing, tanky enemies and riddled with bugs that range from game breaking, to PC bricking.

And whenever they are called to task for their shitty decisions, and the blinding ego that drives them, they keep excusing themselves with the endless refrain of:

"DUUUURR HELLDIVURS IZ SUPPOSED TAH BE

GRUUUUUNT FHANTAZEEEE!!"

HELLDIVERS II will never be fixed, not by ARROWHEAD.

because fundamentally;

ARROWHEAD thinks it ain't broke

This isn't a bug, it's a feature.

And why have they done all of this? Why this insistence on the "grunt fantasy", the terrible Dark Souls II game balancing of "just kill the player every 30 seconds, I don't care how contrived it is or unfair the game gets, JUST DO IT!!". Why the insistence?

Salt. Let's all just face it, ARROWHEAD are salty bitches because they have shit-Lib political takes who can't except that The Bush Administration was decades ago now.

Stop coping, accept truth. It's not complacency on ARROWHEAD's part, it's sheer, insufferable arrogance.
They - purely by accident - created a Masterpiece,
And because that Masterpiece doesn't fit with the developers vision of:

"A game where you play Stormtrooper #B2156 who's the first through the door and gets immediately shot by Han Solo"

They hate it, it's success and most of all, it's players. Just in case the constant ban-hammers on the Discord or the abominable way they treat even their own YouTube dickriders wasn't a clue enough for you on that regard.

They made the Game of the Decade BY ACCIDENT

And since then, they've been trying to patch it into the game they always wanted to make. They are so, so fucking obsessed with making "STARSHIP TROOPERS The Movie-at-home", willful mis-interpretation of the Source Material and all. They are so, so fucking obsessed with making their "witty and insightful commentary" about the fucking PATRIOT ACT.

The first game came out in OBAMA'S SECOND TERM, BTW.

Way to strike while that iron was white hot, ARROWHEAD. XP

These arrogant fart-sniffers just

Cannot fucking accept

That they
Have nothing interesting or insightful to say about politics

They are WRONG about STARSHIP TROOPERS

AND THAT A GAME ABOUT KILLING THE PLAYER OVER AND OVER AGAIN IS NOT FUN, ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU PUT IN A FINITE LIVES SYSTEM

...you know what needs to happen, for HELLDIVERS II to be saved? Really saved?
ARROWHEAD needs to Take their fucking L.

Their political takes are literally last decades news, their vision of the game sucks, and no-one wants to play it. Take that FUCKING "L" WITH DIGNITY AND GRACE, ARROWHEAD, And restore the game to the amazing fun that was so enamoring to everyone, people and their Mums were playing.

(No really, you know Carl Benjamin? Sargon of Akkad? he played HD II with his Mum. His crack-ass Boomer MUM was playing it. That's how much widespread appeal this game had.)

ARROWHEAD created the 1/1,000,000,000,000 GAME FOR EVERYONE
And because they are so busy huffing their:

A gAeM fUr EvErYwUuUuN DUUUURRRR gAeM fUr NuWUUUUUUUN!!

excuse, they are: in no uncertain terms, before our very eyes, turning their

Game for EVERYONE

into

A GAME FOR FUCKING NO-ONE

Okay, Rant Over. v.v

Sorry that got so heated but...fuck me I really wanted to love this game. Prior to the release of MCC on Steam, and them adding Halo 3: ODST (which they originally weren't going to do, they added that as an apology gift basket for being terrible fucking devs who made a shitty port) HELLDIVERS I was the best ODST experience on PC. Me and my friends got into playing it so, HELLDIVERS II was a very special treat for us when it launched.

This picture, for me, now represents the last fond memories I have of this game. Even then I knew it was getting shit, but the BATTLE OF SUPER EARTH event was the last truly great moment I had with this game before the nerfs, growing technical debt and overall rancid turd of ARROWHEAD's vision for the game just rendered it a miserable fucking experience for me. And then people were noting that Into the Un-balanced wasn't just a terribly un-fun update, it was also bricking people's PCs, so me and my friends have sworn off that game for the foreseeable future. Probably forever, since I don't think this game will be fixed, for the reasons I mention in the rant. v.v
TL;DR for those who skipped the rant: It will never be fixed, because ARROWHEAD thinks it ain't broke.

So for me: this piece represents the good times of HELLDIVERS, the last ones I had with this franchise. I would love to be able to come back and enjoy it again some day, but ARROWHEAD need to take some L's and really rethink what they want out of this game before it can be anything enjoyable again. 3X>

I was glad at least that I finally got an official Halo 3: ODST crossover into the game, before it went to shit completely. MA5C assault rifle my beloved~ ^;

Part of the reason this took so long was because I wanted some different versions of this piece, including with Feather holding a different weapon, or Shiny wearing different armour.
All different variations can be found here, if you wanna have a look at them: https://www.deviantart.com/stash/21ywctwjgde4

The different armours that Shiny is wearing are Hero of the Federation, Honorary Guard and Parade Commander because imo they are the best looking armours in the game. I adore the look of each one and they look great on best stallion :D

Also: those familiar with the game's mechanics will notice that Shiny is actually cheating a bit...he's equipped with both a P-92 Warrant and CQC-2 Saber at the same time, despite both occupying your secondary slot. And he's got the SH-32 Shield Generator Pack on his back and SH-51 Directional Shield on his arm despite them both occupying your backpack slot.
I decided that since Shiny is so great, he gets a little extra...lore wise, it's stupid you can't equip yourself like this anyway, the Saber and Pistol are holstered in different places, and the directional shield is used on your fucking arm anyway. If you ask me, the Ballistic and Directional shields would be so much more worth taking if they weren't considered backpacks but could only be picked up and used in combo with one-handed weapons like SMGs and Secondary weapons.
Besides, this is Shining Armor, the shield pony. You really think I'm not going to give him max energy shields? You might not like it, but this is what Peak Protector Male performance looks like. X3

And finally, those wondering what kinda gun is Shiny holding over his shoulder? His primary?
Why, the AR-19 Liberator of course! No, not the shitty, boxy AR-23 design, stolen from Starfield and put straight into HD II, this is the Chad, Traditional HD I starting weapon, based on the EM-2 Assault Rifle! :D

Sadly, this is not in the game itself...well, not without mods anyway: https://www.nexusmods.com/helldivers2/mods/3209

Alright, that really is all folks...I suppose that's it for 2025. I pray you all had a very Blessed, Wonderful and Merry Christmas, and that we all have a Happy New Year to look forward to. :)