Page 332 – Mr. Welch for Ponies

Author: Zarhon

Guest Author’s Note: “Inspired by Mr. Welch. Who is probably Rainbow Dash in this comic. Or Pinkie Pie. Or both.

It’s probably only a matter of time before they have to read this list to Princess Celestia, or she has to read it to them.”

Newbiespud’s Note: We’ve got a couple more of these along this theme. They’ll be spread out over the course of this break.

Things the Mane Six can no longer do during an RPG

- A catapult is NOT an adequate replacement or substitute for flying.

- I cannot have a character stay awake or avoid sleep indefinitely, even if the rules allow it.

- No amount of crafting expertise allows me to replace or otherwise substitute the other players.

- I cannot craft my own allies for a morale bonus, either.

- Or for any other reason, for that matter.

- I cannot lose sanity in a setting that doesn’t feature it as a mechanic.

- I’m not allowed to intentionally lose sanity in a setting that DOES feature it.

- Acting insane does not give me a bonus for RPing if I’m not actually insane.

- Being separated from your allies for over an hour is not an argument for instant mental breakdown.

- Not allowed to use insanity as method of intentionally breaking alignment on demand.

- The ‘hunting’ skill is a poor substitute for the ‘animal handling’ skill.

- Not allowed to hunt the other characters, no matter what animal they may or may not be.

- Not allowed to charm, mind control, manipulate, or otherwise enthrall the entire population of a village.

- Not allowed to charm, mind control, manipulate, or otherwise enthrall the entire population of anything.

- Even with the best of intentions.

- Just because I forced the whole town to sing a musical does not mean I can force the DM into doing the same.

- Not allowed to tempt fate, just because I’m bored.

- Not allowed to tempt the DM either.

- Any member of royalty is not to be robbed or mugged on sight.

- Especially not right in front of them.

- Being able to control the weather does not automatically make me a goddess, nor does it allow me to ‘smite mortals’.

- Not allowed to use time travel to skip the DM’s future adventure or plot.

- Or to ‘fix’ the DM’s future adventure or plot.

- Or to make my own custom-tailored adventure or plot to play through.

- Not allowed to use time travel, period.

- Even if doing so would be the moral, righteous, or just thing to do, the laws of physics will not adhere to my demands.

- Not even if I ask nicely.

- I can’t bluff either.

- I am not allowed to bend or manipulate any of the following: Reality, physics, causality, time, the fourth wall, the universe.

- Not allowed to counter-veto, de-throne, or otherwise interfere with the DM either.

- Even if the rules and character sheet says I can.