Precious Pocket Ponies: These ponies have raised symbols that form a little “pocket” attached to their side, and a tiny item is hidden inside it (attached to the pocket by a short length of string). They’re innocent-looking enough in toy form, but if they were portrayed as living creatures…well, I’d think some of the ponies in the series would be a bit weirded out. (Secret Blossom, Strawberry Surprise)

Dance ‘n Prance Ponies: These ponies have a flower-shaped knob (excuse me, brooch) on their chests. When you wind it, the tail whirls around, making them “dance” across a flat surface. My imagination may be pretty dried up, because I can’t really see how the whole “huge knob sticking out of chest” element would make the transition from toy to cartoon. (Baby Noddins, Baby Cuddles, Songster)

Twice as Fancy Ponies: Ponies with symbols that cover their entire sides. There are actually a lot of ponies like this, but not all of them fall under the Twice as Fancy label (the yellow pony is a Sunshine Pony — these ponies have hair that changes color in sunlight). (Sand Digger, Merriweather)

Secret Surprise Ponies: Larger-than-average ponies with a hidden compartment in their backs.** When you “unlock” them by turning the key in the lock on their chests (again with the chests!), the blanket-shaped lid on their backs will pop open, revealing the compartment. Even the backcard story (which describes the Secret Surprise Ponies enjoying a day at the beach) straight-up says that they have “hidden compartments” under their blankets. In other words, they’re ponies with a huge freaking hole in their backs. How would that work? (Baby Yo-Yo, Baby Shaggy, Pretty Puff, Powder)

Cutesaurus: A Pony Friend — a non-pony that still has the same look and symbols as a pony. There was a llama, a camel, a zebra, a giraffe…and a dinosaur named Cutesaurus. It makes me think that when the designers were working on these toys, they eventually just threw up their hands and said, “Ah, what the heck — just throw a dinosaur in there! The kids won’t care — they love dinosaurs, don’t they?” (Cutesaurus, Paradise***)