Commission for flippedoutkyrii, based on a story he’s currently working on.

It was times like these that made Sepia Spots seriously ask herself why she had taken this job.

It sounded too good to be true when she first heard it. Any sort of position working for royalty was a Faustsend, but to work that close to a princess… it was dream come true! She had been assigned to Princess Luna, which had made her a rock star with her son (she was his “favorite princess ever”, after all). She knew it would be demanding work but such was the life of a personal assistant.

However, it soon became apparent she was less Luna’s “personal assistant” and more her “handler”. The Night Goddess was absolutely wild. Dancing, nightclubs, and the loudest concerts imaginable had consumed her – she lived in a constant adrenaline rush. Sepia practically had to become nocturnal just to keep up with her. It was her constant duty to make sure the princess didn’t do anything too insane. Sometimes she even succeeded.

Today’s assignment seemed positively tame, which should have set off all kinds of alarms in Sepia’s head. All she had wanted to do that day was head down to a local car dealership, and after passing over the luxury sports cars and other such toys, she settled on an old beat-up 87’ GNX and fell in love with it. She jumped in the car and barely waited for the dealer to say “yes” to her test drive before taking off. Sepia practically had to dive in the passenger seat after her. Of all the days to wear heels…

At first, it was going smoothly, or as smoothly as anything with Luna went. Speed limits were fairly optional for her, but at least she was actually staying on the streets this time. The stereo was blaring one of the princess’s bands. Demon Slayer was the flavor of the day, as her shirt indicated, and had Sepia not been clinging to her armrest for dear life she probably could have sung along. Still, so far, Luna was mostly behaving herself.

And then the race started.

It didn’t seem like much at first. Two unicorn stallions pulled up beside them, and started mocking Luna’s ride. Sepia could see the rage building in her. Sepia could see she was about to be put to the test. She started reaching for the volume, hoping Luna might be willing to listen to reason. With a deep breath, Sepia prepared to bring the princess back to reality, with a gentle, yet firm-

Then a slushie splattered on the hood and that was that.

What happened next was a terrified blur for Sepia. Luna launched her car into overdrive, ripping through Canterlot with the stallions hot on their tail. Or at least that’s what her rattled brain was telling her. There were three things she remembered from all that: The narrow tunnel they finally came up to (which, looking back, had only been wide enough for one car); flying out of the tunnel into the wide plains that surrounded the city; and more than a few prayers to Faust that she would put some sense into her daughter.

The car came to a screeching halt, splattering dirt all over the abused ride. Luna jumped out, leaping and hollering wildly like a filly. Sepia’s own exit was less graceful, almost falling out of her seat when she pried the door open, and her legs wobbling as she propped herself up on the overheated chassis. She briefly glanced up, and saw a familiar shape flying towards them, large, shining wings soaring gracefully downwards.

The Princess of the Sun landed a few feet away and began walking towards her sister. She put an arm around her should, trying to pull her in a hug, but Luna was too excited. “We beat them, sister! we beat them! Ha!” Celestia could think of nothing to say, but exchanged a nervous smile with Sepia, neither knowing how to handle this one.

Still, all in all there was no harm done. The street laws had become a moot point now, and the palace had already received multiple complaints from a cabbage vendor, but again, no real harm done.

Except to the stallion’s own car, which was currently smoking in several pieces in a tree not far away. Karma is a funny thing at times.