(story extract)

So, first few hours out in the wasteland, and here are some things I’ve learned; snow is very cold, tundra is very hard, the music is absolutely fan-bucking-tastic, and everypony shoots first and asks questions later. Or, actually, they just keep shooting… and shooting… and shooting some more. Goddess damn, do they like shooting…

Alright, so, caught in a firefight with three rounds left in the clip, can’t go up, can’t run forwards, and pinned down by bullets and what I can only guess is what Mr. Skritters pretty much looked like after the radiation turned his entire everything into glowing goop flying overhead. I popped up out of cover to take a gander at the situation, and was greeted with a rifle shot giving my cheek a nice new scrape. Guess they aren’t the best of shots either, but… OW, bullet shockwave ringing in my ear. Moving my tongue forwards and getting ahold of the trigger, a quick tug sent a bullet flying right at that half-naked bastard’s… huh. So that’s what a .45 can do to a skull. Never thought the brain would be so grey, and… spongy. Oh hi lunch, haven’t seen you in a few hours, still as tasty as- nope, nope, that is definitely acid. Oh sweet princess of the night, not on the pistol…

I took pause to place the hay fries and apple fritter that were so kindly made back in the Stable neatly upon the side of the road behind the makeshift barricade, thankfully without a very nice and VERY powerful pistol in the way, spitting out the last remaining bits and getting primed to fire again. Two rounds left, six… five, five guys wanting to use my tails as fancy dresswear. Christ, whichever one of those bastards who’s firing the green goop gun must be either blind or an insanely bad shot, the freaky buck who got hit just exploded in a goddamned pulse of goop! Guess his friends had noticed that too, and either planned to honorarily discharge the poor blind sap with a few ounces of lead in the brain or were just surprised in seeing somepony melt like an ice cube on the reactor heat sink, either way, hey, free shots! A moment to aim… and kaboom. Yay, more grey matter! Oh, who could that be, it’s breakfast! Now isn’t that a nice surprise, Lunch just stopped by a few minutes ago, here, let me get the door for you. Ah, nice to see a familiar reddish-brown mush meeting another familiar reddish-brown mush once more. I might even get to see stomach today at this rate!

Oh, Celestia help me…