Page 1178 – Tails of Empire, Part 3

Author: ChrisTheS

Guest Author’s Note: “I have no idea if these tweaks would actually work. I went looking to see if anyone had put up house rules for 4e PvP and these were the only ones I could find.

All of RD’s ‘bad GM’ moments are personal anecdotes. I don’t really like memorizing rules, so I tend to leave that to the people who prefer such things, and either deferring to them on rules calls or overriding the rule if it doesn’t make sense in the moment. This works fine most of the time… up until you try to play Paranoia.”

RD: C’mon, we haven’t had a great fight like that for ages.

FS: We all nearly died.

RD: Yeah, nearly. Nearly isn’t actually.

AJ: So. Y’all had lotsa fun without us?

RD: Oh. Right. We kind of left you two hanging, didn’t we?

AJ: Nah, s’all good. Ah came up with one mother of a scheme while all y’all were busy.

AJ: We nipped ahead a few jumps and set up an interdictor generator. Next failed challenge, y’all’ll hit it an’ get dragged outta hyperspace.

RT: Lovely. We do have time to take an extended rest first, I trust?

RD: Yeah, sure, heal up.

AJ: Ahoy thar! Plunder off th’ port bow!

GM: Wuf wuf, cap’n!

AJ: Ramming speed! Prepare fer boardin’!

RD: Sweet! OK, Moonlight, what’s your ship’s AC?

RT: 24.

FS: Wait… I use bolster armor on the hull. That should make it 25?

AJ: Rolled a 26 anyhow. ‘less you wanna take that +4 now?

RT: Oh, I don’t think so. Bring it, churl.

RD: OK… the other two aren’t in this fight, so you can play a random crew member on each side.

Hey, where’d you get all these sweet custom minis?

GM: I have a friend with a 3D printer.

AJ: “Give up, Moonlight! Yer no match fer me hearty pirate crew!”

RT: “Ha! I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog too!”

GM: … I’m a five foot tall Rottweiler…

TS: So how does this system work for PvP?

GM: It doesn’t.

RD: It’ll be fine for a one-off.

GM: I mean, there are no rules. We’re pretty much improvising here.

RD: Nuh-uh. We came up with actual rules and everything!

TS: “We?”

RD: OK, she did.

AJ: Pretty simple, really. Reroll initiative each round, no action points vs. PCs, players take half damage from dailies. Doesn’t cover all th’ bases, but good enough for this. Sound OK?

GM: I guess we’re about to find out. roll

RD: …!!

GM: My first initiative is… 17.

RD: …I wanted to say the thing again…

AJ: Ah made cards outta our character portraits. We can just shuffle ‘em around each turn to keep track.

GM: Good idea.

FS: Looks like I’m going first? Um… would I have had time to set up a trap?

RD: Y—

TS: It would’ve probably taken at least two rounds for the boarders to cross.

RD: Er… guys…?

AJ: Eh, ah guess. Mah passive perception’s 18 ta spot it.

FS: Ok… roll

PP: Nice! Crit on your first hit! Criticals work the same, right?

RD: You know… I think I hear Kirby calling my name.