Page 1176 – Tails of Empire, Part 1

Author: ChrisTheS

Guest Author’s Note: “The nice thing about doing guest spots for FiD is being able to cover stuff that I don’t have the opportunity for in my own comic. I’ve had this historical story in mind for over a year, but every time I tried scripting it as a special issue it just didn’t work out, so I decided to do it in short form here. The only bit of those old scripts I’ve managed to salvage is the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy reference in the last panel. The characters are a bit of a hodgepodge; half of them are extremely loose expies of characters from the ‘Tales of the Jedi’ comics, two are even looser expies of characters from other Star Wars comics, and the one played by Pinkie is (at least visually) taken from Final Fantasy X-2.”

STAR MARES: THE GREAT HYPERSPACE FRIENDSHIP PROBLEM

GM: It’s unusual for you to want to run a game.

RD: Yeah, well… I did kinda like that “Space Quest” whatever campaign, but I ended up doing waaaay too much, y’know, roleplaying. So I figured, you want something done right, do it yourself!

No offense, you’re great.

GM: Thanks.

AJ: Don’t worry. Ah helped her out jes’ a bit. It’ll be organized chaos.

TS: So what do you have in mind?

RD: Kind of a prequel thing. Way before that whole ‘turning your characters to crystal and killing them off without your permission’ thing happened.

GM: I promise not to use your characters as NPCs again without asking.

RD: So I was thinking. You know how in that setting the Trade Federation was run by Rainbow Dash’s descendants, because she was the only one who had kids for some reason? Another thing nobody asked me about first.

GM: Sorry.

RD: Well, I was talking to AJ the other day, and we decided that the reason they got that much power was because they must have mapped out the trade routes to start with!

RD: Anyway, they make this awesome map of mostly-safe routes, and then they start fighting each other.

TS: Why?

AJ: Over who gets ta tax ‘em.

RD: And it turns into a huuuuuuge mess, and so yours truly decides to sort it all out by challenging her daughters to a race across the galaxy – no holds barred, winner takes all.

RT: Ah, I see. So we’re playing the wayward daughters, I assume?

RD: Yep. Figured you’d do it in three teams of two. Throw in a little PvP just to make things interesting. How’s that sound?

FS: I suppose…

PP: Sounds like fun to me!

RT: I already have a concept.

RD: Because of course you do.

RT: ‘Pale Moonlight.’ A scientist who tried to discover the cure for a plague and accidentally turned herself into a half-living monster. Now she needs phenomenal amounts of money to fund her experiments into a remedy.

RD: That’s waaaaaaay more backstory than you need.

RT: I just love this vampire class. A trifle iffy mechanically, but such potential for drama.

FS: Um… I’ll team with you if that’s OK. Maybe I could be some sort of mad scientist’s assistant?

RT: Ooh, you could have a stunted wing! Since I don’t think ponies can be hunchbacks.

FS: OK… I really like the name ‘Sunrider’. And… artificer, I guess? That’s not hard to play, is it?

PP: Ooh! If we’re all being kinda sorta bad guys this time—

“Cloud Raine.” Cold-hearted trickster and ruthless assassin. She’ll prove she’s best, even if she has to cheat!

Er, we can cheat at this race, right?

RD: Didn’t I just say ‘no holds barred’?

TS: Do we all have to be pegasi? I’d kind of like to be a poid instead.

PP: An assassin poid?

TS: Er… no. Protocol. I’m thinking a bard. Like… a less prissy version of that gold one that looked like Spike.

RD: Eh. Whatever floats your boat. Spaceship. Thing.

AJ: Ah already worked mine out with her, but fer th’ rest of y’all – ah’m gonna be a space pirate. Warlord. Stickin’ with th’ name ‘Wind Whistler’ though – ah like th’ idea of foundin’ a merchant dynasty.

GM: I guess I’ll team with you, for old times’ sake. Been ages since I played a basic fighter… Actually, if we don’t have to be ponies… how’s this?

RD: Sure. But I get to use your other notes, ‘kay?

RD: OK, I’ll set the stage while you roll up your characters. AJ wrote me up a little intro:

“As the city of Canterlot expands to encompass the entire world of Equestria, whole nations leave the planet to found offworld colonies. One of these is the pegasus world of New Cloudsdale, located in a system of gas giants in what will one day become known as the Deep Core region. Maintaining contact between the colonies is difficult due to the dangers of space travel, and so intrepid explorers set forth into deep space seeking safe routes through hyperspace. New Cloudsdale flies at the forefront of these expeditions, in search of adventure and reward in the furthest reaches of galactic space.”

“In those days, spirits were brave. The stakes were high. Mares were real mares. Stallions were real stallions. And small furry creatures from the Abyssinia Cluster were real—“

OK, I’m not reading the rest of this.