It hurts to know that I could have made it, but I was too late. And because of my selfishness you are gone. There was nothing I could do to save you. When you left I scrambled into the darkness of uncertainty. My future without you is blind and you know how much I fear darkness and blindness.     At night I entertain the idea of your impossible return and remember our times of happiness and laughter. I berate myself for my weakness and actions. I know now the string has snapped and there is no tying it together without another.     I find I would rather let the string float into the sky, disconnected, and ponder what could be as I forever look to the East.