Feather: “So…why are we going to Firework’s again?”

Storm: “His parents aren’t home, sis! We’re just gonna have a little fun!”

Feather: “Fun, huh? Safe fun?”

Storm: “Yeah, yeah, he said it’d all be clean. That’s why he invited you too.”

Feather: “Hmm…”

Storm: knocks on Firework’s door

(The door opens to reveal Firework and his friend, Hawk Eye)

Firework: “Whassup? You ready for tonight’s banger?”

Storm: “Hay yeah! But you didn’t tell me we were having more ponies over.”

Firework: “Oh yeah! This is Hawk Eye, my homie.”

Hawk: drapes himself over Firework “Ladies~”

Firework: “I figured there wasn’t enough of me to go around for both of you. Come in for some big fun!”

Feather: leans in to Storm “You didn’t tell me he was having a house party!”

Storm: “He never said he was having a house party! Trust me, it’ll be fine!”

*****

Hawk: “Heyyy, Fieldgoal.”

Feather: “Ew! You have a left hoof. Use it.”

Firework: “Hey! Don’t talk mean like that!”

Hawk: “Yeah, you’ll hurt their feelings!”

[HAWK]

You make my balls so blue

[FIREWORK]

You hurt them badly

[HAWK]

You make my balls so blue

[FIREWORK]

They’re hangin’ sadly

Feather: “What?“

[HAWK]

What did they do to you

That you hate them so?

[FIREWORK]

Don’t run from me

They’re all beat up

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

Like a tackling dummy!

[FIREWORK]

They long for your embrace!

[HAWK]

They’re warm like mittens!

[FIREWORK]

They’ll curl up on your face

[HAWK]

And purr like kittens!

[FIREWORK]

You make my balls so blue!

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

Just look at them glow…

[HAWK]

They’re beggin’ you!

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

Don’t make my balls so blue

Feather: “Sis…are they drinking?”

Storm: “Yep.”

Feather: “Oh no, oh no no no!”

[FIREWORK]

You make my balls so blue

So please say hello!

[HAWK]

Hold ‘em!

[FIREWORK]

Enfold ‘em

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

And never let go!

[FIREWORK]

You never seemed very flirty

[HAWK]

But they knew you’re dirty

Feather: “Actually-“

[FIREWORK]

You’ve set them on fire

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

Whatever you require they’ll do!

So take ‘em home to meet your parents!

Storm: “Wait-“

[HAWK]

They’ll wear a suit and tie

[FIREWORK]

And a fancy collar!

[HAWK]

They’ll sing a lullaby:

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

La la la la la!

[FIREWORK]

Please make these balls not blue

[HAWK]

Just for a while!

[FIREWORK]

Can’t wait till later

[HAWK]

My flanks are rubbin’

[FIREWORK]

Like a hot cheese grater!

Feather: “Gross! You guys are underage!”

Firework: “Yeah?” hic “So?”

Feather: “Sis, we gotta go.”

Storm: “Yeah-“

[HAWK]

No wait! They will protect you

[FIREWORK]

Defend you

[HAWK]

Respect you

[FIREORK]

Befriend you

[HAWK]

Like Whinny-the-Pooh!

Feather: “Whinny-the-who?”

[FIREWORK]

Baby, baby, baby, they’re so blue!

[HAWK]

My balls will work for you

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

They will obey ya!

[HAWK]

They really need rescue!

[FIREWORK]

Like Princess Luna!

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

Baby, you’ve gots to come through

[FIREWORK]

Teach them to smile!

[HAWK]

You got no clue how much

These two

[FIREWORK & HAWK]

Depend on you

Please help them through!

My balls are in your court!

Storm: “Urgh…Sis, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Feather: “Again? I thought you were all better. Have you been drinking too?”

Storm: “No! I can’t take any more of these blue balls!”

Feather: “Let’s go while they’re distracted with each other.”

(The sisters fly out the door unnoticed as Hawk and Firework finish their song and pass out)

Feather: “We are NEVER going to Firework’s house parties again.”