Teacher: “Now class, tomorrow we’ll be starting on our sexual education unit. I will pass out these informative pamphlets in advance.” starts passing out pamphlets to the students

Roy: opens the pamphlet to see illustrations of genitalia “O-oh, um…” blushes

Paint: hides under her hair in embarrassment “Why us?”

Teacher: “I expect you all to read up through chapter three tonight. Tomorrow there will be a quiz to make sure you actually read it. Class dismissed.”

(Paint and Roy start walking home)

Paint: “Oh, why do we need to read this?”

Roy: “I don’t know…i-if it’s alright with you, can I stay at your house this afternoon? My parents are on a business trip…”

Paint: “Of course! We’d love to have you!”

Roy: blushes and smiles

(Paint and Roy arrive at the Dash household)

Paint: “Well…I guess we might as well get this reading over with…”

Roy: “B-but it’s so embarrassing!”

Paint: “I know…” she and Roy open their books and cringe

Roy: “It’s so…graphic…”

Firework: walks into the room “Well well well, studying your sex education I see!”

Roy: “EEP!”

Paint: “F-Firework!”

Firework: “Lemme see this.” takes the book

Paint: “N-no!” blushes in embarrassment

Firework: “Hm…this is pretty hot stuff here. I’m not sure kids your age should be reading this.”

Roy: “Um…”

Firework: “I bet the guys who wrote this haven’t even been to second base! You shouldn’t be reading this lame stuff. You need to learn from somepony with experience.”

Paint: “…Experience?”

Firework: “Yep, and I’m your guy. First we gotta toss out these dumb pamphlets and read some REAL literature.”

Roy: “R-real literature?”

Firework: “Everything You’ve Always Wanted to Know About Sex (But Were Afraid to Ask). It’s a classic, and I even got a copy today just for this!”

Jewel: wheels in a chalkboard

Roy: “J-Jewel?”

Jewel: “Oh, hi Roy! Hi Paint! Firework invited me over to help with the lesson.“

Paint and Roy: “Lesson!?”

Firework: “Okay kids, listen up. I’m gonna tell you how sex REALLY works…”

(two hours later)

Firework: “…and so I thrust it out like this and stuck it in like this; trust me, this is when things get REALLY hot. You could tell she was feeling it when she started screaming…Storm’s a big screamer, but this was the loudest she’s ever been!”

Jewel: calmly drawing diagrams

Paint: “That explains the noises I heard last year when you were dating…”

Roy: on the verge of tears “I-is this over yet?”

Firework: “No way! We haven’t even talked about what happens when the mare gets preggers!”

Paint and Roy: fearfully clutching to each other

Firework: “So yeah, Storm got preggers with two brats and we’re both paying dumb child support now. She was still a great banger after that, though…yo Paint, her sister got her a copy of What to Expect When You’re Expecting, if you want to further your education.”

Paint: whimpering “N-no, please!”

Firework: “Fine, suit yourself. Now, as I was saying…”

Rainbow: opens the door “Firework, what’s going on here?”

Firework: “Hi Mom! I’m just giving these kids a lesson on the creation of life!”

Rainbow: “Where did you get that book!?”

Firework: “Oh, this? Well, I-”

Rainbow: “I can’t believe you’ve been in my drawers! This was for me and your father only!”

Firework: “Wait, what?”

Rainbow: “Firework, you’re grounded. Jewel, Roy, go home.”

Roy: “B-but…”

Jewel: “Our parents are on a business trip! And we’re not even done with our lesson!”

Rainbow: “I don’t care! You’ve embarrassed me enough, just go!”

Roy: “Y-yes, ma’am…” starts sadly walking out the door

Jewel: “Aw, cheer up, Roy! We can continue the lesson when we get home!”

Roy: whimpers

(Roy and Jewel leave)

Rainbow: grabs Firework’s ear “You and I are going to have a LONG talk!”

Firework: “But Mom! This isn’t what it looks like!”

Rainbow: drags him out of the room

Paint: shaking on the floor “I’ll never see ponies the same way again…”